Daily Devotionals

Grace Revealed

Posted in Grace/Forgiveness

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God.”   Psalm 42: 1-2

 

It was a period in my life I had been experiencing a very difficult time.  I was unemployed and unable to find a job and money was getting tighter and tighter.  In addition, I was taking care of my aging mother and had no idea how I was to navigate my future.  I felt that God had abandoned me.  Depression, abundant anxiety, and not a peep from God- all of this made me feel his absence was clear, and I desperately needed him.  In Psalm 42, the deer is aching with thirst, as was I, and its soul was “panting for Him,” as was mine, and for months I was in a drought and terrified.  I was feeling forgotten, alone, and abandoned.  “Where are you, Lord?  I really need you.” 

Backtracking, I had already lived 61.5 years on this Earth, and having heard about grace all of my life, I couldn’t grasp it.  Never felt it, never saw it, never experienced it.  What was grace, and why had God not shown me at least some of it? 

Since I was a child, I had heard pastors preach on it and Sunday school teachers teach on it, but its meaning evaded me. Grace seemed to be a black hole.  The Merriam Webster definition provided no clarity, and I was so frustrated.  I decided I was unworthy of God’s grace.  

Actually, in reality, nothing bad had happened. Everything was going smoothly, but in not hearing God’s voice, I was seeing no light at the end of that proverbial tunnel and that light was dimming quickly.  What was I to do?  Where was my God?  Innate survival techniques were already at the gate, and I was feeling sick to my stomach.

One afternoon the phone rang.  It was Pastor Brad offering me a gift of grace.  That was Grace!  Grace! I finally understood, felt and saw the meaning of Grace: “unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification!” (Merriam Webster).  I had done NOTHING to deserve this gift. Absolutely nothing.  And I was the recipient of grace!  Every time I think back on that dark phase, I can now see that I was being held in his loving arms the whole time.  And his grace had been present many times in my past, even when I wasn’t hearing or noticing it.  Now that’s what I call experiencing grace.  Thank you, Lord!

 

Prayer:  Thank you, Lord, for your grace that’s always abundant.  Help my eyes be open constantly so that I can see it all the time!  Amen.

Submitted by Lucy Scoville